At least 3,400 people heard me blabber on this week, about the curtain panel I SEWED MYSELF last weekend. Okay, so, truth be told, I couldn’t have done it without Mandy whose keen eye for design and cutting straight lines made the curtain possible in the first place. But still. I turned the machine on, I coordinated that whole, blasted bobbin thing and I threaded the various bits that must be threaded BY MYSELF and it FREAKING WORKED. (To be clear, Mandy could have done ALL of these things with her eyes closed but the sewing machine has, until last weekend, alluded me.)

Curtain panel-Ikea fabric

So, this is a big victory for me.

And not just because my seams are straightish or because it looks pretty or because I’m no longer scared of sewing my fingers into my fabric. But because it means I CAN BE DOMESTIC. And in my head, domestic=motherly.

I’ve never been butcher, baker or candlestick maker. And while I’ve never questioned my ability to parent, I’ve definitely questioned my ability to do mother-ish things like well…cook dinner, sew buttons on and well, provide a general sense of motherly craftiness that I see in so many of my friends.

Kay, for example, is excellent with textiles and both sews and creates art work for her walls. Clare is artistic and a great seamstress, spending many an hour making creations for her home AND mending Grant’s socks and underwear. (She doesn’t like to talk about the underwear part) Kim can spend five minutes in a room and POOF! it looks like it came out of a West Elm catalog. Brandy sends me homemade jewelry for my birthday. And Sarah can cook up just about anything her little Blake desires–and quite yummily, too.

But me? Me…well, I can do some mean cupcakes and a cool crafty card here and there-but whip up a fancy dinner? Not happening. Finish knitting that cute, pink scarf I stressed over so much a month ago? I think I already forgot how. Make jewelry? I’m not that coordinated. Mend underwear? I wouldn’t know where to start.

But turns out that despite all odds, I can work a sewing machine and I can make a curtain panel. And it seems to me that that’s a start towards being the mom I kind of dream of being… that mom who knows how to can things for the winter and bake fancy, multi-colored layer cakes and hem a prom dress.

And, most likely a mom who will raise kids who hate to craft for the very reason that I love it. But whether they love it or hate it, I’ll still have my pretty curtain panel…and that means I tried…right?